Home Comforts

It's strange to be away from home at a time like this. Never in our lifetime have we experienced something so extraordinary. Its comparison feels closest to wartime with blackouts and curfews… not to mention apocalyptic films and science-fiction novels. People on lock down in their homes, unsure of what the next day will bring. Stockpiling food and household items, rationing in place...

But what this downtime does provide is space for thought and time to slow down. To really consider ideas, to reevaluate practices and rediscover old behaviours and hobbies. In some ways we've been given the gift of time. How often do we complain about being "so busy". It has become a marker of our times, almost a competition among social circles of who is the busiest. There are endless memes floating around the internet about how we (collectively) feel how difficult it is to juggle work, family, relationships, social life, health and wellness. There is not enough time in the day. Now we are being forced out of our busy-ness. Forced to take a time out. But time outs don't come easy to our generation, especially in a time of increasing uncertainty.

My social media timelines are full of self-employed people and freelancers lamenting about the loss of work due to Coronavirus. Every friend I’ve spoken to has been affected in some way already. People are worrying about what the future might hold. This crisis will affect so many of us in so many different ways (some more than others) and there is without doubt difficult times coming for everyone. But in a strange way it's comforting to see these posts on Twitter and Instagram. To feel safe in the knowledge that at least we are all in this together. To feel that something has to happen to ensure the safety and security of all of us together, not a small few but a significant amount of the population.

I moved to the UK last week on March 6th. I think (hope) I'll look back at this time and laugh about how much of an extraordinarily bad time it was to up and leave my secure, full-time job to move country and search for a new position, a new life, a new adventure. Instead I was met with a catastrophe on a level we in this generation have never felt that puts a question mark on every decision I've made in this process. Everything is up in the air. Worldwide companies are putting work on hold and shutting up shop. We're undoubtedly entering into an unstable economy. It's hard to know what to do when I feel quite stagnant. When it feels like the real world is on pause. But I know that things could be worse, a lot worse. I am healthy and so are my family, I have a place to live, some work to keep me going for now. There is always something good to be found in a bad situation and it is always worth thinking of and trying to support those worse off than you.

I couldn't have known how much these portraits would mean to me when we took them a couple of weeks ago on my last weekend in Dublin. They were for a personal project my sister (a photographer) is working on. She wanted to photograph me in my living space, where I'm most comfortable and most myself - even wearing my fail-safe comfort outfit of cosy knitwear, well-worn vintage Levis and cashmere socks. Now that comfort has been pulled away, both by decisions I've made and by this global crisis.

These pictures are a tether to my former life. A marker of a period in which I changed and grew and developed. I won't live in that apartment again. I don't know when I'll visit it next. My belongings are still there - there was only so much I could fit in my suitcases. My books and prints and magazines and ornaments. My favourite mug for tea. My dressing gown (a comfort blanket). My sofa with its built-in groove developed over time. The things that make a house a home have been left behind.

What I do know is that I (we) have to keep moving. Take things day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute if I have to. Tasks help, and allocated time slots to complete them. A structure that fills your days when your former structure is gone. Good advice helps too, and staying away from the things that don’t help you or your mental health - the 24/7 news cycle can be devastating at times. I'm washing my hands, avoiding large gatherings, smiling at strangers (sometimes it's the little things), keeping in touch with friends and family, going for daily walks to get fresh air.

Those who are lucky enough to be in industries where they can work from home are fortunate to be able to do so. And if you are unfortunate enough to be out of work for this time, try to focus on what makes you happy. If London goes on lock down (as it should and is looking like it will) as well as continuing to work from home I'll use the spare time to write and to read. The things I return to time and time again. I'll bake, banana bread has become my Saturday morning go-to - or indeed any time I need a wholesome activity away from screens. But most importantly I'll take time to just be. Because if this crisis shows us anything, it's that time is more precious than we could ever know.